I read a blog the other day that had a sole purpose of rallying the blog’s readers against another person. There was a dispute and the blogger shared how one party had been terribly wronged by the other. Part of me “gets this” – my undergraduate training was in rooting out the truth as a journalist and we hailed the Watergate busters and other truth seekers as heroes. This remains an important role of our media. Yet, a stronger, wiser voice in me whispers that these more and more common blog-based vendettas under the guise of speaking one’s truth or leading a revolution are not going to move public discourse ahead in a positive way. Of course I’m a strong advocate of each of us living our truth as we know it. But when it tears others down and crosses the line to an arrogance of judging the hearts and motives of others and presuming to know who is “right” and “wrong”… it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Since my youthful days in journalism, I’ve simply seen too much in law, psychology, and life to not respect that there are two sides to any dispute. Inclusion and compassion are underrated as tools of transformation. I believe the world is sorely in need of thought leaders who see and honor that people are more alike than different. People want to love and be loved. They want safety for themselves and their families. They want to contribute. They want meaning and joy. We share common struggles for security, love, health, wealth, wisdom, and peace. I believe that any truth seeking journey would benefit from judging less and loving more.
I recently keynoted a conference of 450 lawyers, one of them being one of my best friends from law school. I hadn’t seen her in over 10 years and had the chance to drop into her world for a couple of days. I dined with the people who worked for her. I met her colleagues. I met her bosses. And each person raved about her work and the person she was. They did so not just in a general way, but shared specifics. “She gets in the trenches with us – not like most managers would do.” “She makes work fun and finds creative ways to motivate her team on a budget.” Some times when I take a step back and look around at some things dear friends have accomplished over time, it takes my breath away. We get so immersed in the details of our lives that we can easily forget to celebrate our forward movement. We take for granted the impact that we are having on other people’s lives. What a privilege it was to drop into an old friend’s life and witness firsthand the good she is doing in the world and the difference she is making in other people’s lives. And then lend her my glasses so she could see this anew. I relished in sharing the positive feedback with her and celebrating it. Who can you extend a well-deserved pat on the back to today?
